Dona Nobis Pacem
by ZeenoMCR
Summary: On the hunt for Ten, Donna finds the Doctor, but it's the wrong one. Nine meets Donna, sass is had, and there's a bit of humour, too.


_"sometimes i think what if nine and donna  
nothing would ever get done omg"  
-donnanobilis on Tumblr_

**Author's Note: **So I went on Tumblr (and you know what happens when I do that), and found a post that I've quoted above. And therefore this was born.

* * *

"Look for trouble and the Doctor will show up," I grumble, trudging my way through a snow drift. "Sure, yeah, _brilliant_ idea, Donna!"

As a particularly large clump of snow falls off a tree and ends up down my coat and in my shirt, I growl, yelling up at the sky, "You numpty spaceman! Care to show up?"

And then I run into something—rather, someone. He's pretty tall, and is wearing a leather jacket. I raise an eyebrow as he turns around, giving me a cold blue stare. "Oi, mate, why're you just standing around out here?"

"Looking for trouble," the man replies, his coarse Mancurian accent marring his words. "You?"

I feel myself grin, despite my annoyance. "Same 'ere. There's a man I'm looking for; he's always into trouble, so me, I figure if I find myself some trouble, I'll find the daft man sooner or later."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I reply, nodding methodically. "If you've seen enough trouble, I bet you've seen 'im. Skinny as a rail, big hair, brown eyes? And... Martian? Wait, no, it was... Oh, I can't remember! Anyway, he had a friend named Rose. Ah... Can't remember much else except he has a blue box that's bigger on the inside."

"Blue box?" the Mancurian man repeats. "Blue box? Bigger on the inside? Hang on—I've got one of those. TARDIS, Time and Relative Dimension in Space."

I snort. "Yeah, right. Sure. If you're the Doctor, I'm the queen of bloody _Sheba!_ Yeah, right, more like Dumbo!"

He stares at me for just a moment. "I am too the—wait. Did you just call me _Dumbo?!_"

"Yeah!" I reply, stepping forwards and jabbing him in the chest with my index finger. "Dumbo. Baby elephant with the big ears. 'Cause trust me, you've got 'em!"

"My ears are not—"

I drop my hand and stand toe-to-toe with him. "And you go calling yourself the Doctor, when the Doctor I know walks around in a God-awful pinstripe suit and trainers, and he's certainly _not_ a big-eared old man!"

"At least I'm not a ginger woman that can't _shut her trap!_" he snaps, ice blue eyes narrowed in a glare. "You run around shouting at the world; what for?"

That stops me for a moment as my mind rewinds through all the times I was never listened to. I open and close my mouth a few times, and drop my eyes. "I shout because no one listens."

The sudden truth and quiet seems to shock him. When I regain my composition, I look him straight in the eye. "So."

"So."

"You're the Doctor?" I confirm, eyeing him distastefully.

He nods. I bring up one hand and smack him roughly on the back of the head. "DUMBO!"

"Ow!" he whines, hand clapping to the spot I'd hit him. "What the _hell_ was that for?"

I cross my arms and shout, "WHY DID YOU LET ME WALK AWAY?"

He winces. "That's the future!"

"I don't care!" I fume, gritting my teeth. "You should've tried to get me to come along! I've been looking all over for you! My family thinks I'm crazy! And the neighbours; you should hear 'em! 'Oh, that's Donna Noble, looking for some bloke that doesn't exist.' And you! You, how can you go about changing your face, if you really are the Doctor."

He crosses his own arms, a fair deal more intimidating. "If you'd stop shouting, I'd tell you!"

I raise an eyebrow and make a violent gesture for him to continue. "It's something that happens when I die—well, no, I kind of cheat death. It's my personality that dies; it changes completely, and so does my face. Every single cell in my body is rewritten." he pauses for a moment. "You're gaping."

I shut my mouth, and nod repeatedly. Right. Changing faces and personalities. Right... I look up at him. "Wait, though. Where's Rose?"

"Rose?" the Doctor repeats. "Peroxide-blonde Rose? She didn't want to come."

I roll my eyes. "Oh don't give me that. You go back and ask her again."

"I never ask twice!" he protests.

I cross my arms and give him a glare that seems to unsettle him. "Ask her. I won't have you leave behind someone else—especially her. She's special, spaceman. And don't let her forget that."

He stands there for just a moment or too, returning the glare. Then, resigned, the Doctor says, "Alright. If she says no, I'm blaming you, Donna Noble."

I grin. "She won't."

As he walks away, he calls over his shoulder, "Good luck finding the future me!"

"Good luck with Rose!" I call back, and continue pushing through the snow towards the place my car is parked.

My mobile buzzes with a text from the only person that I'm friends with that _doesn't_ think I'm a nutter. _Donna, things are weird at Adipose Industries. Check it out. xoxo_

I push the phone back into my pocket, and hop in the car.

Maybe I'll find him this time.


End file.
